Yet another Friday and looks like my blogging senses are at their best on a Friday, with my limited vocabulary I do not find the right word to define this sudden interest, I am sure suchandra would have taken not more than 3 secs in doing that. well the reasons for writing at this hour could be many- lack of sleep after a 4 hour sleep in afternoon and nothing really to read though i have an exam tomorrow morning or lack of sleep due to the heavy dinner courtesy 56 bhog at dining table owing to surprise visit by sis and jiju. Everytime I meet jiju I find a good friend in him, he is sensible and yet sensitive, a rare combination, in men especially and he is one reason I am happy about the choice my family made. This reminds me of something I have learnt after a varying set of experiences in the past 2-3 years that "The only things we can control in life are the choices we make" and I somehow cannot stop pondering over this thought.
Making choices is a vital part of life,we choose what we wear, eat ,drink, which places to visit, which car to buy,who to make friends with, who not to make friends with, who to like,love & care , who not to and most importantly we choose that one special person who eventually becomes an inseparable part of our life (at least for some of us). However while on one hand we come across several instances when we make choices, on the other hand we also have the option of opting for alternatives when what we choose or desire to possess is unavailable or cannot be reached for. As a kid i always wanted to be a doctor, that was the choice I made much before I even passed out my high school but as life had it and depending on the situation then I had to drop my plan and go for an alternative instead, it had nothing to do with my scores, entrance exam ranking, or interest levels, I was quite sure with all that I would have definitely made to one of the top medical colleges in the city but many a times things dont work the way we want them to and we end up looking for an alternative. While some alternatives we opt for turn out to be actually better than our initial choice some dont even match up to it resulting in lack of interest or passion in whatever we do think and feel .As a normal human trait we at some point or other come across such circumstances where we let go off something close to our heart and accept something which we never needed or desired for. But the question here is Is it always necessary that we give up something we want to do, stop working to make our dreams come true and make those unnecessary compromises in life?. I would say yes, to some extent it may be necessary but not always and not when I do not want to and especially when I do not think I can handle or accept the change whole heartedly. As an individual I have the rights to make the choice and if i am not allowed to do so I atleast should have the right to choose the option of 'No Choice' a condition where a person does not have to choose an alternative when he /she cannot fulfill their initial choice. I personally do not think it is always necessary to look for alternatives, I want to buy a certain car, but it is not available immediately, in that case i would not mind waiting for a couple of weeks or months but what happens if the agent is unable to deliver the car for 6 months or the company has stopped the production of that particular model, I obviously have to choose an alternative. Similar is the case for most of the things, a house, a watch , a piece of jewellery as these are just materialistic things which make our life comfortable or help us make a style statement, here I or most of us would not mind looking for alternatives, these things do not define or design my life any which ways, so whats the big deal.
The big deal is when we have to part with not a thing but with an emotion, a relationship, a dream or that special person who we have spent the best days of our life with , someone who has not just been a best friend, support and the love of your life but the most important part of your life, so much so that your day started and ended by listening to his voice, he has been that one person you shared all your experiences- good or bad and happiness with , when you have never ever taken a decision without his consent from the time he has entered your life and that your entire world revolves around that one single person . But as the time changes we get in a situation where we have to part with that special part of our life and thats the toughest decision to make but considering what the situation demands we do take the decision either by choice or by force , we may part with the person but how does one part with the feeling, the emotions, the time you've shared with that special someone and the love you lost for no fault of yours. So what if the entire world is against your choice, so what if people around you are advising and looking out for alternatives to make up for your loss and so what if that special someone is now busy managing his new relationships and plotting a career graph. How does any of these or even all these together even matter. It definitely dosent mean one should scrap their dream and find for an alternative, if i made a decision of letting go what i desired to have then is it necessary that I also make an other choice, is it necessary that I go against my own will and values only to shut the mouths of a few social animals around or to please the ones who never seem to understand ,especially when I do not think I have the ability ,patience and willingness to handle something undesired. Can't an individual who is educated, independent and capable of taking care of self and also a few others have the option of 'No Choice' after having lost his/her choice to the complexities of nature and the society.
