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Monday, January 10, 2011

Flowing waters

Way back in 2006 during (after) the Christmas vacation I along with my family had got this very rare opportunity to visit the shores of Bay Of Bengal. Since the visit was a post Christmas and close to new year I expected a lot of tourists but there were not many people as the monstrous Tsunami had hit the waters only a couple of months before our visit. The damaged houses, shops, fallen trees and sad faces were a heartrending sight. After parking the car we all started walking towards the waters and the first thing I noticed was that the colour of the sand was almost black, I am not sure if it was naturally black or was it a post Tsunami effect. As we reached the waters I was awestruck with the vastness and the beauty of the sight, it was the biggest sea shore I had ever seen until then and something that would make one wonder about the creativity , power and beauty of nature or the Al Mighty. As soon as we reached the shore the first thing all my family members wanted to do was plunge into the water but i preferred sitting back and feel the cool breeze ,appreciate the exquisite beauty before i did so. So as everyone else walked into the water, I found a little place for myself and sat down.


A few seconds after i sat, i heard a voice saying “Are you scared of water?” I looked right and then left but there was no one, the voice then said “I am here, right behind you “. I turned back and saw , It was a guy sitting on a cement slab, wearing a black T shirt and cream coloured shorts, he was in his early twenties (I too was, back then ). Even before i could reply back to his question he came and sat next to me and repeated the question. Back then by nature i was quite comfortable talking to strangers as long as they did not look threatening (For some strange reasons I am very apprehensive talking to strangers now even if look like Brad Pitt) and hence replied back saying “No I am not scared of the sea” to which he then asked “Then why aren’t you going with your family” and when i replied back saying that i wanted to look at the sea and enjoy its beauty before getting into the water he smiled back and nodded his head. There are some faces which you can never forget for the good reasons though, and this guy had one such face, I don’t say that he was the most good looking guy I have ever seen but there was something very pleasant about him and his smile was like an icing on the cake  and no I did not have a crush on him. During the conversation i realized he belonged to the same city as me had come there with a group of friends who were screaming, shouting and playing pranks upon each other in the sea. While talking i started searching for sea shells in the sand and picked up a few, he had one big sea shell in his pocket and gave it to me saying its a gift, i reluctantly took it for it was too pretty to be denied. After a few minutes of silence he said “You know life is like flowing waters, it goes on until it hits the shore” , i thought it was too philosophical a statement and said nothing but yes for i did not want to get into a discussion about my perception of life with someone i met a couple of minutes ago. Before the conversation could go any further dad called out for me and I had to go, I went running into the waters and as a challenge all of us stared walking further into the water and there was a point where the water was at the level of my neck and one tide hit me so hard that mom started screaming with fear, believe you me it was a great experience , one of its life time. From the distance i could still see the guy sitting at the same place and when we returned back he wasn’t there. In the little conversation we had none of has had bothered to ask each other’s name, a little strange but this makes me remember the incident as an unusual experience.



“Life is like flowing waters, it goes on until it hits the shore” this statement which a couple of years ago seemed philosophical seems so true and relevant now. It made no sense to me then and today when I remembered the incident the same line looks so deep and meaningful. We humans as all other animals go through the different stages of life and at every stage we encounter varied experiences-some good, some not so good, some ugly and with each experience we gain or lose something, sometimes its a materialistic loss or gain and sometimes it is an immaterialist loss or gain but with every experience we learn something, we learn many things and with those learnings we try and make life better for self and our loved ones or should i say that we try and fit ourselves into the size and shape of life. In our day to day life we meet people, we make friends, we party, dine out together, watch movies, go on long drives, comment and crack jokes on friends, class mates, teachers, neighbours, play pranks, have group studies, try to copy in exams, be silent admirers of the most good looking guy/gal of the college, fall in love, celebrate on the smallest of occasions and what not and the same individual has a completely different life at a different stage-now we work(In some cases pretend to ), we work late hours trying to impress the boss, we seek sophisticated company, we watch movies but in multiplexes, we shop but in the city’s most happening malls, differentiate food as healthy or unhealthy, make investments which will give returns only after 15-20 years. After a few years the list changes again, the stages in life change but life goes on irrespective of what and how you want it to be and we move with the flow happily in some cases and adaptively in most of the cases.

On numerous occasions I have heard people saying “It is all about time , everything will be fine with time” but i personally feel some wounds never heal, some memories will last forever, some desires will always remain deep in the heart, its not that you stop feeling the pain, wanting things or dreaming big but you get used to things the way they are now, it is not about time but about the flow of life and the demands of this flow. The flow demands us to behave us in a certain way and whether we like it or not we have to abide by the rules of the flow and move with it until it reaches the shore for if we don’t we drown ,we become an outcast .

PS: I am not quite sure if the word waters in the title is grammatically correct but i thought it sounds better

Monday, December 20, 2010

Show Biz

It has been a real long day today, not a great start to it but luckily a peaceful evening. Sleeping for just 3-4 hours a day has become part and parcel of this not so busy schedule. Final year of Mba does not keep the students academically busy to say the least (may be this statement is limited only to the Marketing students) for most of the trimester we have hardly had any lectures. Fortunately or unfortunately the irregularity in academic schedule has come to an end this week, for we had lectures till late evening for the entire week and like everybody else I too was waiting for the week to end, and hoping that the sunday would give me the time to rest my back which has been paining badly since the last 2 weeks. But all the hopes went down the drain when i realized i had to attend a family function and i could not easily say no to it for the sake of ones' who claimed the importance of my presence at the occassion.

I should have understood the flow of the day with the way it day started, left home around 9.30 am for i had to take my nephew to the dance class, hardly 2kms away from home the back wheel of my bike got punctured again (again becuase it had got punctured only 2 days ago and i took my 3 hrs to find a mechanic and get it fixed), while i was cribbing my nephew was happy as he got a reason to miss his dance class. It was a sunday and only close to 10 am, hence finding a mechanic was a tough job to do, but with Danu's company it did not seem very difficult, its amazing how a 7 year old can be so motivating and supportive. Finally got the bike fixed and came back home around 11 , then was asked to go shopping with dad to buy gifts (and not a gift) for the function we were all to attend in the afternoon. Sometimes i  wonder if celebrating every little occassion is just a way of flauting your wealth and receiving gifts.I generally do not prefer attending family get togethers unless its close family wedding but  this time i had no choice(a bad choice though) but to attend it for the sake of  maintaining the charm of the newly built relationships. I find such functions a waste of time,energy and money and an easy way of flaunting ones wardrobe and jewellery collection  and also to a large extent the bond with their spouse (irrespective of how weak or incompatible the bond is, Indian Men and women can easily pretend to be the most caring and loving partners at such occassions).

After a careful selection of gifts came back home, for some known but not to be mentioned reasons i chose to dress up in a manner different than i normally do- a little extra jewellery than i did the last time i attended a function by the same host Only after reaching their did i realize that i was dressed in a much simpler way than other guests there did, that any which ways does not matter to me and  respect every ones own style of dressing. But what i do not understand or rather do not like is the way people judge others by the way they are dressed or by the number of  soverigns they are wearing and its more hurting when someone who claimed the importance of your presence at the occassion also comments though in a very subtle manner on the way you are dressed or done your hair. Why is it that everything else becomes more important than the person itself, if i chose to attend the uninteresting function even though you know that i have stopped attending any such celebrations then why do you care how i am dressed, why dont you just ignore what the other good for nothing,useless, fat gossip mongers say , when i have no problem with the way i look then why do you care. Why dont you stop advising me and accept things the way they are. Why dont people realize that the relationship is more important than the outer look of the individual with whom you share the relationship and why cant we stop changing the way others dress, eat , walk and talk.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Only you

Everytime I look at you
My Love for you comes through
But how does one hide
The feelings so deep and true

A look into your gleaming eyes
Without words answers all the Whys
I Watch you walk with faultless grace
Could spend my life just watching your glowing face

Your laugh is such a great delight
You are my shining armour Knight
Your smile warms my soul with gay
Your voice takes my breath away

But what I see that brings these tears
And causes me my greatest fears
Are not the things I've told till now
But rather what fate wont allow

In those deep eyes I will never see
A look of love from you to me
I 'll watch you walk, but walk away
I 'll miss you each and every day


You will laugh and you'll celebrate
You'll smile but that smile isn't for me
You'll care but not for me
You'll love but not me
Someone else will hold your hand
And leave my feelings tightly canned

Whatever I do and wherever I wander
That you love me , I 'll never hear
And one thing that god has due
Is this chance to spend my life with you